ifyoucarryonthisway:

how awkward are you on a scale from one to miranda cosgrove riding a candycane

(via nicki-minaj-a-trois)

Everyone I know: My future's so bright! I'm doing well with school, getting married, traveling to new, exotic places AND I'm having a baby!
Me: I'm really excited about this pizza I'm going to eat later.

me after running for one minute: i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing